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The words just don't flow right now. I can't seem to pick one thought. My mind is racing faster than I can keep up with it. What are the things to say to make it all matter? I question if I question the reader to hook them in. I wonder if anyone wants to hear about how I've struggled the last few days. I wonder if I should share a story about how Wolfgang put a whole carton of ice cream in the microwave. Do I make a funny joke? Do I share more of the Gospel? Do I let them into the inner workings of my mind? Am I doing the right things to glorify God? I wonder if the woman that I handed a Manna Mama sticker to the other day in the store thought I was off my rocker or touched by the call for me to talk to her. I wonder what God is asking me to do in this moment as I essentially word vomit through my keyboard onto the blog (wonderful imagery, I know). I could let myself go down every one of the 2,569 rabbit holes that consume my thoughts. OR, I could pause, breathe, pray, and sit. I could let God speak to me in the silence as I open my heart to his direction and to his love. I want him to guide my words. I want to be the person that he believes I am to carry out the work he has called me to do. I am a vessel. We all are. God created each of us for a purpose, for his plan and for his glory. Whether that's in being a parent, a spouse, a friend, a grocery cashier, a gas attendant, a teacher, a nurse, a pastor, a gardener, a coach, a mechanic, a relator, anything. God calls to us to bring him into our lives to take root in our hearts. He desires to work in us and through us, to follow his ways for the building of his kingdom. We could venture down every rabbit hole. We could ponder all of the what-ifs. We could choose instead to believe in a crystal ball to see our future or those old Magic 8 balls we all thought had the answers to life (I never did marry my 8th grade crush like it said I would). Instead, why not choose to believe in the one true loving God that has it all figured out and walks alongside us in every moment, good and bad, easy and hard, happy and sad. Let us rest in knowing that his plan is at work and that he has us covered in his grace and his mercy in all the things that we do. We are imperfect people. We were made to be a perfect creation but sin entered into the world and we have been struggling ever since. But the great news is, we don't have to wonder about what comes next. He has it all in his hands. By simply saying "Yes" to the Lord, you are letting the most perfect love into your most imperfect heart. He will lead us, guide us, love us, protect us, discipline us, and bring us resurrection because he doesn't wonder about what comes next. He knows that here and now, he loves you and wants to bring you back home to him as his child, to cover you in all of his goodness. So maybe that is why I chose to not focus on all of the wonderings that I have and to just let my fingers float over the keyboard, letting his words fill this page with the message that he wanted to be shared. And you know what? I trust God wholeheartedly and know that this message will reach someone at the right time as God is working in them. Because that is the beauty in which our good God works. Isaiah 55:8-9 8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." ESV

https://open.spotify.com/track/7LVHVU3tWfcxj5aiPFEW4Q?si=20602dc47be64055 Some days when you feel broken and needing to find the pieces to be put back together, "Fix You" by Coldplay just gets me. Image courtesy of: Genius Lyrics I find myself more a fan of Lauren Daigle's older albums but there are some off this self-titled album that speak true to my heart. This one, "Love Me Still", is one of them. She's coming to the Washington State Fair (always the Puyallup Fair to the Washingtonians) on 8/31/24. Hope to see you there! https://open.spotify.com/track/32WjsAt3X5YiLAPweCYbTJ?si=73b4e7f93c82444f Image courtesy of: YouTube My husband is OBSSESSED with The Beach Boys. Seriously. You'd never guess this almost fully tattooed, bearded, ex-military man would be such a softie for them. Yet he is. And when I want to feel a wash of joy that brings a smile to my face, I listen to this, "I Can Hear Music" and think of him. https://open.spotify.com/track/1hcMfYTsRTC4hIKbfosxjz?si=464ab1c901ef4383 Image courtesy of: YouTube

Anyone else hide their Girl Scout cookies or delicious chocolates from themselves? Yah. Me too. I am a poor hider of goods and a great seeker of all things tastily tempting. Those eight boxes of cookies I ordered... Gone. That box of tantalizing chocolates from See's Candy... Gone. I'm weak. It's true. My feet just seem to walk me right up to the pantry. Is that my arm reaching for those treats hidden behind the flour? Shoot, how did these cookies get into my mouth? Someone else must be eating these. The box is empty. Must be the Cookie Monster. It's not me. Maybe a mouse in the house ate them all. Yes. A mouse. Why are all the yummy, sweet, chocolatey, sugary, deliciously not healthy things so dang tempting? Ugh. The torture. Saying no is so hard. Walking away is so hard. Refusing to give in is so hard. Temptation is like the Hulk. Something we shouldn't or don't want to give into begins in a form like a small, innocent, unassuming thing like Bruce Banner. It can then grow into this gigantic, looming, and frightening thing like the Hulk just lording over you. What starts off innocently, simply, naively can morph into this secret, this urge, this "thing" that you can't shake, you can't walk away from. It's all-consuming. It's controlling. It's always whispering "yes". Temptation takes many forms from social media, screentime, food, alcohol, drugs, seeking attention outside of a relationship, giving into pressure to maintain the perfect body or appearance, money. You name it, it can be a temptation. How then do we find the willpower to face this Hulk and have the strength to defeat it? Unfortunately, it's not a simple word we mutter or one prayer that we say. It isn't a hope, a wish, or something that we can do alone. To fight it, we need the strength of the one true living God. He who has already defeated Satan and all of his lies, all of his temptations. He has given us victory through his son Jesus Christ, who died for our sins and conquered death. We are going to falter. We are weak in our flesh. Yet we are strong in the power of the Holy Spirit. We serve the One that gave all for his creation and there is nothing that he cannot redeem. So the next time that temptation whispers to you to "just say yes", call on the Father to provide strength, to turn away and say "NO". And in the moments where it is overwhelming and we stumble into the trap of temptation, turn to God. All we have to do is ask for grace and mercy and God will shine upon us his forgiveness and discipline. Seek his wisdom and trust in his goodness. For although at times we may feel a slave to the power of temptation in all of its Hulk-like ways, we are children of the Kingdom of God. A kingdom which houses a victor stronger than all and a more righteous King that has the final say.

From left to right: Auntie Michelle, Aunt Charn, my Grandma Carlene, my dad Tony, my nephew Grant Jr., Auntie Jodette, me (July 2019). Some times I pick up my phone and I go to call you. I need to talk it through with someone. I need to just laugh. I need to know that it is going to be okay. But you aren't there. The number no longer belongs to you. There is no response to a text. All I can do is read the ones that you have already sent. Closing my eyes. Straining my ears to listen. Trying to remember what your voice sounded like. I still cry when I hear the songs I shared with you. We used to trade them back and forth. Some days the emotions are too strong and I skip past them. Other days, my heart needs the words to wash over me and remind me that you were here. Tears well up in my eyes and roll down my cheeks as I write this. You stamped a place on my heart. You were the most beautiful soul I ever knew to walk this earth. You were light. You were kindness. You were strength. You were grace. You were my Auntie Michelle. Some days we wouldn't talk about it. Some days you would share everything that you were feeling. The struggles. The pain. The sickness. The desire to go back to the days when you could go mountain biking for hours, running for miles, or having the energy to make it through a lunch at your favorite restaurant. I remember the last time I saw you. I flew down to visit a before my wedding. We rehearsed how you would do my hair. We talked about my dress. We laughed as we floundered through playing a virtual reality game. We talked about how you would find a way to be able to be there on that special day. You stayed in the same outfit for those three days. You didn't have the energy to change. The medicine you had to take made you sick. Your body was tired. There wasn't anything that I could do for you. We prayed. We talked. We dreamed. We were kindred spirits of friendship and family. I didn't know it would be the last text I would send you. You were back home in the hospital. Your soul was getting ready to go home. You didn't look yourself. It was hard for you to open your eyes. I wrote to you all of the ways that you made my life better, that I owed a renewed faith in the Lord to you. I told you how special you were to me. Just like you always reminded me how special I was to you. I wrote what was on my heart. Instead of your reply, your sister, Auntie Jodette, wrote back. She said that the text was the most beautiful thing she has read but that you never got to see it. Moments before I sent it, you had taken your last breath. Cancer had taken your body but your soul was called home. I sit here full of grief still, two years later, almost to the day. It doesn't get easier. Some days are full of the wonderful memories. Some days, like today, are full of the things that I miss terribly about you. You are no longer in pain. Your body is now perfect. You are no longer suffering. Although our hearts are broken, yours is whole. You are waiting for us to meet you in Heaven. We do not know why you were taken so soon but we know that God is good in the grief. His ways are always good, even through the pain and sorrow. I know that you are still with us. I will feel you in a quick rush of warmth in a cold breeze. I will see a small light come and go in a moment. I will hear your voice in a verse or a song. You may be gone from here, but you are awaiting our arrival home. I will see you again one day. Together, we can walk the streets of gold, sing praises for all days, and spend eternity serving the one true God that always was and always will be.

Todd! A dude! Unexpected, right? I had just counted up the total number of folks between platforms and then a notification popped up saying, "Todd just subscribed to Manna Mama." I thought, of course. The Lord works in ways that I don't know because here is our friend, supporting the page, and he also happened to be the lucky Number 25. You see, Todd is a wonderfully talented photographer. He is humble in his talents. He lets the photos speak for themselves as he posts on his pages. If you take a look on his Etsy page or his Instagram pages (links below), you can see that he has been given a gift for capturing stories in a photo. Talk about stories. A few years ago when the war in Ukraine erupted, Todd had just sold his house and had met his now wife, Whitney (she is an absolute gem). He bought a Tahoe, drove all over the southern part of the US looking for stories to tell and stories did he tell. Although great experiences had, he knew there was more that he needed to do. So, he packed up his things, boarded a flight to Ukraine, and started documenting the war through his lens. Let me tell you. The photos he shared showed raw humanity, kindness in a time of utter despair, and palpable fear across a bomb filled horizon. He also found a way though to show loving human connections, a hurt people reliant on the compassion of others, and fragile hope in a broken part of the world. And he still stays humble about what he did. I don't think he would ever title it a calling from God but as he tells the stories of others through his photography, it is evident that he has been given a gift. He is able to see beyond the eyes, to see into the hearts of those he encounters, to see the beauty within a simple object or the promise of an unassuming landscape. We may not always understand the gifts we have been given. We may even be afraid to wonder if we are using our gifts in the way that God intended. We may even be hesitant to acknowledge the presence of God working through our lives. That's okay. Talk to God about it. Sit with him. Ask him to reveal himself to you. Ask him to show you what it is that he wants you to accomplish. He works in ways that we do not know or understand. There's always a story to tell. https://www.etsy.com/shop/ToddTheAmerican?ref=search_shop_redirect https://www.instagram.com/toddtheamerican?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw== https://www.instagram.com/americanmedialtd?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

https://open.spotify.com/track/1oCW281X92e8TZ5Wl5GW74?si=1cb0bb080e4645a8 Rivers & Robots creating a simply peaceful, beautifully spoken instrumental song and album to bring utter rest and breath to your nervous system. This version of "Revelation Song" is perfection. The whole album is a great listen. Image courtesy of: Amazon.com

Wanna know a great way to test your smoke alarms? Burn your pizza in the air fryer. Why is it in the air fryer in the first place you ask? Because our delightful oven claimed to have been preheated to 425 degrees...but it lied. Open it up, feel no heat, look in to see un-melted cheese on pepperoni pizza, cry a little inside, then toss it into the air fryer. Set air fryer to said temperature on the instructions, turn the timer, ask your husband to check in on it fifteen minutes later, and out comes a billowing cloud of putrid charcoaled smoke followed by a crisply burnt pizza. All served with a side of wailing smoke alarm. I mean, is there any other way to enjoy pizza? Ever have one of these nights? How about one of those days? Nothing you put on fits or feels just right. The animals are all set to crazy mode running around the house. You stub your toe rushing to get your coffee. Traffic makes you late (it's not because you left your house ten minutes late because you couldn't remember where you put the keys). It feels like everyone and everything in the world is out to throw a wrench in every single part of your day. It'd be better if you could just eat away the stress with a tub of ice cream in your comfiest of comfy clothes and binge watch a feel good show. That's not exactly how we get to handle all the every day junk that jumps out at us. We still have to show up for work, take the kids to school, feed the animals, and do all of the other million and one tasks on our list. A burnt pizza moment is actually the best opportunity to take disappointment and turn it into a moment of patience and gratitude. Strange things to shift your focus to when the kids are hungry, your tummy is rumbling, and the last thing you want to do is go drive to pick up dinner. Yet it's in these moments that we are pushed to be our best, turning away from us becoming our worst. Is the pizza burnt? Yes. Do we want dinner now? Yes. Are the shrill smoke alarms annoying? Yes. But we all laughed over how horribly it turned out. Even the dogs turned away from it. In that moment though, we paused to think how thankful that we have a house full of food. That we don't have to worry about where our next meal is coming from. That we have the ability to go to "Plan D" aka, "Plan Dominoes". We are all safe, happy, and healthy under one roof. Might seem simple, but in the "OMG" moments, it can be a tricky task to shift to that patient and gratuitous mindset. In these moments, God shows us how much we have been blessed with. We may feel like we have been robbed of moments, time, possessions, relationships, but we can always rely on him. He is always working things for his good. Isaiah 43:19- "19 Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (ESV) From scattered morning moments springs forth his peace. From rushing in traffic springs forth his patience. From burnt pizza springs forth a new family memory. From ashes springs forth new life. From accepting the Lord into your life springs forth a promise of eternal life in his mercy and love. Just look and listen in all of the moments that seem to weigh us down. He will show us. So the next time something doesn't fit right, when everyone is losing their bananas in the house, you're running behind, or something even more disheartening occurs, look to him. For in all of the wrenches and disappointment, you will find all of the great things he has blessed you with in his grace, in his mercy, in his promise, in eternal life with him.

It's been such a joy to see people come by and check out this site, my Facebook and Instagram page, comment on posts and in the forums, and subscribe to Manna Mama. To celebrate reaching almost 200 site views, I want to do a giveaway! I would like to gift the 25th person that either subscribes to Manna Mama or likes the official Manna Mama Facebook or Instagram page (my pages have my Manna Mama- To Walk in Light logo) with some of my most recent favorite finds. You will win everything pictured above: a cute glass cactus cup, a sweet spring sign perfect for any corner of the house, and a soothing Lavender Eucalyptus candle from Threshold. I appreciate everyone that has taken time to be here. May your week be filled with wonderful moments and lots of light. Your time has made a difference!

Something about the setting sun’s rays hitting me just right as I sit on my back deck, fills me with peace going into the night. The rays aren’t warm but they are soothing. They hold hope and promise. They wash over me with their glorious lit splendor making me feel alive inside. As I write this, they’re becoming bolder, brighter, better. It’s as if God himself is talking to me, right into my heart whispering promises of grace, of gentleness, of goodness. I could sit here in this Golden Hour soaking in the beauty of the day and the hope in tomorrow. Today wasn’t the easiest. I felt pain, frustration, and exhaustion. But I also felt the loving embrace of the kids as they came back home, the kiss of my husband before he left for work, and enjoyed the sound of laughter. With the pain comes beauty. With the sadness comes joy. With the hurt comes healing. Not always in our time or in the way we anticipate, but in His perfect time and in the way that glorifies Him. He could take as much time as he needs as I sit here relishing this Golden Hour. I know that sure as the sun rises and sets, his faithfulness is mine. That promise shines as brightly as the setting rays of sun. Let it all wash over you. Just as the setting sun washes over me, let his faithfulness wash over you.

Just a feel-good country song by Larry Fleet that is sticking around in my head. https://open.spotify.com/track/2f1Sl0LApwi1Vbg38XVAME?si=3ddb5fd84bd0422b Image from: Amazon.com

Could I make this at home? Sure. But is it so much more delicious when it’s healthfully already made for me? Yes. And convenient when I’m hangrily shopping at Target😂 https://www.target.com/p/lesserevil-organic-popcorn-himalayan-sea-salt-4-6-oz/-/A-84932204

Anyone else's kitchen look like this when you're trying to cook? Look. A little dog hair in the food won't kill you. I just can't say no to them when they look like this. Can you?