Pot O' Gold

Have you ever wondered what lies at the end of the rainbow?

Is it gold guarded by a leprechaun?

Is the rainbow just made of Skittles?

Is there a unicorn waiting for you to hop on to fly you to a far away land?

Some times I wonder when I see a rainbow painting the sky. Whether faint or bold, a single or a double, you can't help but think, what riches truly lie at the other end?

The older I get and the more work that I do to become a better version of myself, I've realized that I don't have to seek the end of the rainbow to find my riches.

When I dream of what it means to be rich, I don't muster up an image of a giant mansion in Beverly Hills with fancy cars (that's too much house to clean and fill with furniture and cars too fancy to carry muddy-shoed kids and hairy dogs).

I don't ponder on all the trips I could take and fancy foods I could eat. If I never try escargot in my days, I don't believe I'll be that sad. Give me warm bread and cold butter and I'll be happy for days!

Riches mean so much more. I find wealth in the laughter of my children, the terrible dad jokes that my husband tells, the cuddles of my cats and the loyalties of my dogs. The pleasure of being able to collect eggs from my chickens, tend to my roses, and bake cookies with my kids.

I am rich beyond measure in the beautiful friendships that I am building. I find great reward in knowing that I am creating bonds with women that support me and I can support them. Uplifting relationships that are based upon honesty, grace, humility, trust, and kinship.

These are the women that are helping me to be accountable in my personal and spiritual growth. Women that I can laugh and be open with. I have rarely experienced true friendships in which I can be vulnerable and feel safe in doing so knowing the reward is greater than the risk.

The pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow lives in the every day moments of every day life. I get to hug my kids goodbye before school, say prayers with them at night and tuck them in. I get to hold my husband's hand and know that I am treasured by him.

Now don't get me wrong. Some days it feels like there is a testy little leprechaun keeping me from seeing this gold.

It lives in the moments when I doubt everything I am and everything that I am doing. When I look in the mirror and see new exhaustion in the bags underneath my eyes, in the way the cat gets my tongue and I can't seem to pray the words aloud. When defeat feels stronger than victory.

The testy little leprechaun gets to me when this family faces spiritual battles, when the debt seems overwhelming, when all three dogs leave me no personal space for the bathroom. But there is ALWAYS a lining of gold even when the riches at the end of the rainbow seem impossibly far away and there seems to be no unicorn waiting to take you to a far away land.

The wealth lies in the important daily reminders that we can tell ourselves, that we can etch onto our hearts, that we can find victory in.

I am alive.

I am redeemed.

I am called a wife, a mama, a daughter, and a friend.

I am loved and I get to love.

I am free.

I am rich in His mercies.

I am saved.